This past four weeks has felt simultaneously like a slow-moving snail and has gone by in a flash. This continues to be my experience throughout the journey. The moments when you are in them seem to drag on forever and then looking back has finished in a blink.
Being scared, worried or even down right petrified makes it hard to think. Focusing becomes challenging. Remembering things that you used to be able to remember with ease suddenly becomes a significant test.
It comes in waves. The loathing, disgust, and desperation for what was. This absolutely was the best decision - to have a double mastectomy - for a number of reasons for me. BUT. That doesn't mean it's not hard mentally and emotionally.
I can feel the skin with my fingertips, but I can't feel the fingertips on my skin. Bonus, the pain goes away when I do that.
It was 'easy' to find the lymphnode and get the wire hooked into the right spot, but my medial tumor was much more challenging. Gotta make it interesting right?